Since our little announcement this week, I’ve had so many friends reach out and tell me how in shock they are that we are pregnant. I know, I know… it may seem crazy because we don’t seem like “grow up and settle down” kind of people. Honestly, we are pretty shocked too. We love kids and have always wanted kids but it just wasn’t on our radar for another year or two. It has rocked our world a little bit and caused a big change in plans but… WE ARE SO EXCITED!! (also nervous, a bit clueless, and very nauseous) Matt and I joke a lot about how it just wouldn’t have been fitting for us to 100% plan out when we were going to have a kid because since when have we “planned out” anything? We are very spontaneous and love a little bit of chaos in our life so this is very fitting!
Now on to the nitty gritty details…
I “officially” found out I was pregnant on January 17th, Matt’s birthday. I say “officially” because I had SO many promptings the month before that it was coming. I can’t really explain it but somehow I just knew it. That’s what prompted me to take a pregnancy test on January 16th. I took one right when I woke up and I was so groggy and tired that I didn’t wait the full time to read the results. It popped up negative and I didn’t even think twice about it. I’ve taken SO many pregnancy tests since being married and so this negative didn’t seem any different than all the others. “I was just over thinking everything” I told myself.
Later that day Matt started joking about me being pregnant (because I was moody) and being a drama queen I marched to the bathroom, grabbed the test, and put it in his face. “I’m NOT pregnant, SEE!” And then we saw it…. another line had showed up. It was faint, but it was THERE.
I started to panic a little bit and told Matt it was most likely a fake line because the test had been sitting so long. I mostly believed my explanation but if I WAS pregnant, I wanted to be sure and I wanted to tell Matt on his birthday. Three *positive* tests later and I knew exactly what I was getting Matt for his b-day… a BABY!
I sent him to the gym that morning and made him breakfast/ wrapped his gift. I literally thought my heart was going to beat out of my chest because I was so excited and anxious all at the same time.
(Side note: the lighting messes the pic up a bit but there is a double line on each of those tests. Also, the due date has moved up to Sept 26)
The next couple weeks are a bit of a blur. I wasn’t feeling any sickness and kept taking tests to reaffirm that I was ACTUALLY pregnant.
I didn’t anticipate how scary being pregnant would be but I felt like every day I was being weighed down by the fear of losing this baby. A fear that still sits in the back of my head. I know miscarriage is all too common and I feel for everyone that has to go through it!
Once I started feeling pregnant, boy did I FEEL it (and still feel it)! I’m not sure what I was expecting morning sickness to be like. Maybe actual sickness in the morning that wore off as the day went on? Some food aversions, throwing up occasionally, and a little sleepy? Whatever I thought it would be like, I WAS NOT PREPARED. For me it was a constant, 24/7, can’t keep anything down or even get off this couch kind of sickness. I couldn’t handle the smell of anything. For some reason the smell of Matt was especially repulsing (why??) and not only could the poor guy not get near me but he also had to do everything around the house. Matt’s distant support along with bagels, Bai, and Jane the Virgin kept me alive. Maggie and Lucy kept me company.
I started having good days at about 11 weeks and now I have more and more as time goes on! My strong sense of smell has gone away and I have a LOT less food aversions! I mostly crave fruit and bagels are still apart of my daily diet. I think warmer weather and fresh air has also helped a lot, not just in making me feel better but also in lifting my spirits!
I’ve had two doctors appointments and so far everything looks good. I had a bit of bleeding the day before my 9 week doc apt and felt crushed inside thinking something might have happened to the baby. I had to BEG them to try and find a heartbeat to ease my fears. They were so sweet to do it for me even though it was really hard to find a heartbeat with the doppler that early. 15 agonizing minutes of searching later and we heard a fast, strong heartbeat. I immediately broke down crying. That was the first time it felt REAL for me.
At my second appointment I was so relieved at how fast the ultrasound came up and how easy it was for us to see our little babe squirming around. It was moving quite a bit and did a few stretches and had its hands up by its face. That was the first time it felt real to Matt. Needless to say, we left that doctors appointment feeling SO HAPPY and couldn’t wait to (finally) share the news with everyone.
It’s so nice to be out of the first trimester officially and to feel the fog of morning sickness lifting. I know we are in for a wild ride as we prepare and become parents but I’m so glad we get to do it together.